The International Men’s Day can be a great time to give compliments. A good opportunity to praise men for their positive qualities, achievements or support in the community. Compliments are not only a form of appreciation, but also an important means of promoting positive emotions. Receiving them undoubtedly strengthens your self-esteem and well-being. It makes you and those around you feel seen and recognized.
On the other hand, giving compliments regularly is just as important. By giving, you are actively contributing to strengthening interpersonal relationships and partnerships. When you tell others what you appreciate about them, you promote a positive climate of support and kindness. Compliments can also act as a motivational boost that positively influences the behavior and performance of others around you.
Differences in giving compliments
We men often tend to say nice things to other people that primarily relate to their skills, achievements or external appearance. This type of compliment can sometimes be factual and direct. Women, on the other hand, use personal compliments that focus on interpersonal relationships, emotions or certain character traits of the other person.
Various social studies show that women tend to give compliments much more often than men, especially in social contexts. With the intention of strengthening bonds and creating a positive atmosphere. Men, on the other hand, give fewer compliments because they often operate in a competitive environment (e.g. work, sports) where performance and success are clearly the focus.
When it comes to receiving compliments, women like to see them as confirmation of their social and emotional skills. While men may have difficulty actually accepting sincere compliments. Differences in communication are partly rooted in gender-specific expectations and can affect both the content and the dynamics of interactions.
What significantly reduces the impact
If someone combines their words with a “but“, the person creates the impression that a positive aspect may not be entirely serious. The compliment can lose meaning and convey a critical or judgmental message. “You worked well today, but you could have taken on the other project too.” Such exemplary sentences focus more on the accusation than on pure recognition.
It is extremely important not to immediately diminish positive feedback or counteract it with criticism. The “but” is often said unintentionally. Nevertheless, you should consciously make sure to formulate positive feedback and constructive criticism in separate statements in order to address the appreciation more clearly. Women tend to relativize or limit their compliments more often than men. This can also be expressed through misleading phrases such as “It may not have turned out perfect, but at least you tried.”
A well-worded compliment
In order to express yourself effectively to your partner, it is helpful to be specific in your choice of words. Instead of using general statements (“I think you’re pretty.”), you could say, for example, *Your smile is lighting up the room right now.” Avoid negative phrases that could potentially devalue the compliment. Instead of statements that imply a comparison (“You are the most beautiful woman of the evening.”), it is better to emphasize the individual characteristics (“I admire your creativity and passion.”).
Your compliments should be sincere and come from the heart, as this conveys credibility. If you give the compliment at an appropriate moment when the other person is in a good mood, it will be even better received. Communicating appreciation without a specific expectation can be a wonderful way to further strengthen your relationship through communication.
