Family planning is a very personal decision and the supposedly right time can be perceived very differently. Ideally, couples wait for the moment when they feel stable in their relationship and ready to become parents. Age obviously plays a role in terms of fertility and health risks for mother and child. Some couples also want to finish their education or establish themselves in their careers before thinking about family planning.
A striking trend in Europe is the increasing age of women at the time of their first birth. This development is often the result of career prioritization and the search for financial stability. Birth rates (number of live births per 1000 inhabitants) vary greatly between the individual countries. While France, for example, is better positioned with a value of 12.5, other countries such as Germany (9.6), Italy (7.2) and Spain (7.0) are struggling to maintain their population.
In Sweden (11.3) and other Scandinavian countries, it is common for both parents to work and for childcare responsibilities to be shared equally. In other parts of Europe – especially in some Eastern European countries such as Poland (9.2) – traditional gender roles may still be firmly anchored. Financial support for families through state benefits is therefore another important aspect that influences family planning.
How many children should there be?
Many people have different reasons for or against specific family planning. It is therefore important that both partners talk openly and honestly about their thoughts and feelings. If one of them is sure that they do not want to have any children or only one child, while the other wants several children, this can lead to emotional conflict.
To meet these challenges, it is advisable to discuss the reasons for each other’s preferences. What fears or concerns are expressed? Are there common values that can form the basis for an agreement? It often helps to reflect on what you want for the future. If the discussions become too difficult, professional support in the form of couples therapy could also be useful.
When it is difficult to get pregnant
The desire to have children can be a deep longing that is associated with many emotions. Including hope and anticipation, but also fear and frustration, especially when things don’t work out the way you want. In societies with a strong focus on children, the pressure to get pregnant as quickly as possible can cause immense stress reactions.
This can then not only have a negative impact on psychological well-being, but also on physical health and ultimately on fertility itself. In addition to the obligatory discussions with your partner, it can be helpful to seek additional support from friends, family or professionals. Sometimes relaxation techniques, self-help groups or therapy can help to reduce the pressure felt.
Challenges of an unfulfilled desire to have children
Various relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga or mindfulness are generally recommended to reduce stress and promote a feeling of inner peace. A balanced diet, sufficient sleep and regular exercise not only contribute to general well-being, but can also have a positive effect on fertility.
In some cases, it can be beneficial to take a short break from the topic of wanting children. Your thoughts should be directed to those areas of life that bring joy and satisfaction. Finally, it can also be helpful to find out about possible medical causes and to clarify these in a confidential conversation with a specialist.
